August 28, 2021

Enough with the mom guilt….

I’m here to advocate for you. You the mom. You the warrior. You the overworked/overtiredmom. YOU. I’ve had enough of people making moms feel guilty for taking a time out. Making time for themselves & then only hearing the most dreaded phrase; “Must be nice!” I’ve had to learn NO is a complete sentence. As I am typing this I am sitting in a Mexican restaurant in St. George, Utah. All by my damn self. I just had a blissful 80 min. facial at a Spa & I should be relishing in this moment. However there is a baby crying next to my table & I just want to scoop her up. I finally get a meal alone, in peace, & without nursing my own child. So why do I feel guilty? I feel like I shouldnt’t be here. I feel terrible leaving Christian. He will be one next month. Don’t get me wrong he is having the time of his life. He is with daddy, brother, & sister in Maine for the weekend. I’m in Utah for a 5 day hair retreat. Where I will hopefully come back reenergized, refreshed, & reinspired.

I desperately needed this time out. My soul was tired. Honestly my body couldn’t handle much more stress.I was going to crack. I call myself the queen of “doing it all”. However lately I needed to say no. It’s ok to take a time- out, its OKAY to tell yourself you need a break. So why do we feel so guilty?

We can’t please everyone, we aren’t a jar of Nutella & we definitely don’t come with a side of queso.

I recently was gifted a book titled’ “Mommies Guide to putting Baby to Sleep”.

What the actual hell.

Now I am not a feminist, however I came really close that day. Why is it called MOMMIES guide?? Why not “The parents guide”. Did I make this child alone?? Is his father incapable of putting him to sleep??? When was this printed the 1950s?? I almost asked them if it came with a mop wringer & a can of pledge. Seriously, what are people thinking?

It’s time for a revolution. It’s time for a mommy time out.

Men, PLEASE I urge you to listen to the woman in your life. If she is asking for 30 min to read her book, please let her. No questions asked. If she is telling you she needs 30-60 min alone. Respect it. I promise you she will come back a better person. Bonus points you hand her a glass of wine.

I’m not saying my partner, or anyone else, doesn’t work hard. I’m trying to be the voice to all the moms out there. Men its different when you’ve physically had a child clinging, sucking, & jumping on your body for hours on end. I LOVE being his comfort. My heart literally melt & time stops when he looks at me & smiles and his cheek dimple deepens. However, me (and my breasts) need a time out once in a while.

Girlfriend, don’t feel bad about asking for a break. Your soul needs it. Get your nails done. Book the massage. Shave your legs for cryin’ out loud!!

I can’t tell you how many times in my 19 yr career I’ve heard women tell me getting their haircut is a treat. Are you F-ing kidding me???!! It’s necessity NOT luxury. You trim your toenails, brush your teeth, you trim your ends. Period. Stop feeling guilty about it.

I once had this client you used to get her hair cut twice a year. It was like pulling teeth to get her to come in quarterly. Every time she came in she complained about the same problems with her hair. Frizz, lack of curl in some spots, dry. So I always would recommend the same product that would fix all her problems. Every time it was NO. This went on for about a year. Finally I asked her why. Ashe said she couldn’t justify spending the money not he product for herself. I (politely) reminded her she was going to Kohl’s to buy tons of crap for your kids that I know they didn’t really need. I asked her why she couldn’t just spend it on herself for once. Ahw said she felt guilty. My heart broke for her.

Why do we do this to ourselves? It really makes me sad.

Ps. I cannot stop looking at this adorable baby!! People warned me I would miss him the/if I wasn’t around I would miss him. I told them they were crazy. I want to go ask this woman if I can smell her babies head. Is that weird??

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